Do you have a problem with me?

The most absurd things occur when it is least expected. A few minutes ago in a very enigmatic matter I would just simply say “shit happens”, worst it falls to me. How can I be so stupid? Forgetting that I’ll always be unguarded no matter how I try to deal with this knotty life. I thought it’s easier to deal with morons but the thing is they were given special skills because they knew how to play the game.

If you wonder what I feel right now, I would say that I felt embarrass to myself because I was rejected. Part of me feels annoyed that if I wouldn’t consider what my parent taught me I would definitely in a brawl. Damn! How can I let someone step on me, to think that he is nothing but a “moronic faggot”? Forgive me! I have nothing against the transsexual actually I have lots of friend who belong in the third sex. However when you encounter someone for the first time and annoys you, steps on you but then you felt like nobody stands behind your back. It really feels awful! Yes I’m hurt that I need to consider the things that other people would say even that I know in myself that I had no intentions at all. If I had my way I would just change myself the way people wanted me to be but I cannot. I was raised with the idea that as long as I never step on someone I could do whatever I wanted to do. But as I grow old I was involve in a very shallow society, who would judge you the way they see you. Anyway bad publicity is still publicity. I don’t give a damn to what would other people say even If hear even if it a smear campaign regarding myself because I am raised well and I knew that. So do you have any problem with me?

SHIT HAPPENS!

Sometimes the sensibility of a 1 year old is better than a comprehension of an adult that is what I learned in my life. Or better yet saying to a dog sit or roll over is easy than understanding a human being saying “I’m thirsty, can you please give me a glass of water?” Sanamagan! Is that difficult to understand or it should be predefined in other languages. If there is an easiest way can somebody tell me so I can be at least understood? I’m a human being who also needs to be heard! Hate it!

Top Ten Mad Scientist

10. Johann Konrad Dippel
Born and raised in Germany's Castle Frankenstein, 17th-century alchemist Johann Dippel became noted as the inventor of Prussian Blue, one of the first synthetic chemical dyes, but most famous for his endless quest for elixirs of immortality. Rumors of his experiments on human corpses may have inspired Mary Shelley's legendary character that bore the castle's name.

9. Wernher von Braun
At the age of 12, an intrepid Wernher von Braun loaded his toy wagon with some firecrackers and shot off across a crowded German street. It was a sign of things to come. The brains behind Hitler's V-2 rocket program arrived in the United States as a prisoner of war and went on to be its champion of space and lunar exploration. While putting people on the moon, von Braun also mastered scuba diving and philosophy.

8. Robert Oppenheimer
The Manhattan Project's head honcho was never reserved about his sympathies for socialism and his conflicted feelings over dropping the atomic bombs, and was ultimately stripped of his academic and political power for it. Despite those controversies, he's also remembered as a man his grad students called "Oppie," who learned Dutch and Sanskrit just because, and quoted a Hindu holy text at the sight of the first atomic bomb test.

7. Freeman Dyson
Respected nuclear physicist and prolific writer Freeman Dyson moonlights as a science fiction writer's dream. In 1960, he touted the idea that in the future humans may need to construct an artificial shell, now called the Dyson Sphere, that would encircle the entire solar system and make maximum use of the sun's energy. Dyson wholeheartedly believes in extraterrestrial life and thinks we'll make contact within the next few decades.

6. Richard Feynman
Part of the Manhattan Project's team of geniuses that developed the atomic bomb, physicist Richard Feynman went on to become one of the most important scientists of the late 20th century. Far from the stuffy professor type, this free spirit explored music and nature, decoded Mayan hieroglyphics and picked locks in his spare time.

5. Jack Parsons
When Jack Parsons wasn't busy co-founding the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, he was practicing magic and calling himself the Antichrist. This mysterious bad boy of the space program had no formal education, yet still managed to develop a rocket fuel that would guide the United States through WWII and into space. Tragically yet appropriately dramatic, Parsons blew himself up during a lab experiment at his home in 1952.

4. James Lovelock
This modern environmental scientist and inventor of the world-as-superorganism Gaia Hypothesis has been dispensing dire predictions about climate change and our world for decades now, many of which have come true. He's not shy about spreading one ultra-gloomy forecast; given the current ecological crisis, a massive die-off of about 80 percent of humans by 2100 is inevitable, he believes.

3. Nikola Tesla
This is the guy you picture pulling down a giant electric switch in a shower of fiery sparks. Tesla, who is credited with the invention of the wireless radio and the AC generator that kick-started the electrical age was even born, fittingly, during a violent lightning storm in 1856. He was also known as a manic genius that slept little and loved to put on a good show, often using his own body as a conductor in public demonstrations.

2. Leonardo da Vinci
Between painting the most revered masterpieces of Renaissance art, Leonardo da Vinci somehow still found time to tap into his inner eccentric. The Italian's scientific sketchbooks, most written in mirror-image cursive, are a fantasyland of oddball machines and brilliant designs, many which would never come to fruition and some that would be built many centuries later, like his rudimentary helicopter.

1. Albert Einstein
He's certainly got the mad scientist hair thing down. One of the last century's most celebrated scientists, Albert Einstein turned physics on its head with his theories of relativity, and made enormous contributions to the fields of gravitation and quantum theory. He also liked to take his sailboat out on the water on windless days, "just for the challenge."

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.

The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.

And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

Sigh

There comes a time when I stare blankly at everything, maybe it’s a part of what I felt last night. How come you can totally ignore that I’m hurt? Something that I was trying to say over and over again unfortunately I am not heard. How many times that all the things I’ve said will be ignored? Is it me who had a problem? Over and over again I am taken for granted probably because I’m into the least of his priority. How could you not exert some effort when I feel bad? How could you overhear all the things that I’ve said? You know all night what I’m trying to imply but you never wanted to accept what lacks of you. Anyway it’s your pride that hinders you. Sigh! How I wish I could feel my significance in your life. At least make me feel that I’m a part of it.

BOY FAJARDO

My father and I never get along ever since; probably we have a different perspective in life. S-T-R- I-C-T can be an appropriate description with a very witty mind. Definitely he would always prefer a direct to the point opinion and he hated talking to idiots. I remember an instance that he was teaching me in my Algebra lessons and I would give him a look saying “can you please repeat” while in my mind is asking what the hell is he talking about then he would repeat it on the second time and then would asked me to solve the equation for him. Unfortunately Math can never be my forte; I maybe a Fajardo but I don’t enjoyed calculus that much so what he did is walked out. He is also my sensei taught me the Basics of Karate; chops, blocks, kicks and punches are our bonding moments. Papa together with Mama never failed to educate me on how to be civilized, even as a kid they would take me on different restaurants to just show me the table set-up and the table etiquette and the decorum per se. If you would asked him if he spanked me he will be very proud saying “yes” with a follow-up that it’s not yet enough, which took me years to understand. Upon meeting people and seeing them I understand the importance of punishment when a child commits mistakes. There are instances wherein “sorry” is not enough more often it is used as a grounds for mistakes for we can always say the renown statement. I maybe 28 but when Papa started to stare at me I will shut up and behave, luckily I inherent it when I gone mad and see the “Tiger Look” I can make somebody be quite. Ha! Ha! Ha! Thanks Papa!

But if you would analyze the very reason why we disagree is because I am sometimes his mirror. Well we have same fear which is injection, were both hardheaded, we see and feel supernatural and we are hated by our superiors. Papa is not into crying, he is the type who never allow his emotions to overrule him as a person. When I cry he will be mad instructing me to so something, it’s because I am their only child and when the time comes he just wanted me to be independent. You might see Papa in other way but he is the most honest person not used even with white lies and possesses a strong faith with GOD. Papa will always be my hero, my comfort zone in this tiring battle with life. It’s a good feeling perhaps a sign of relief ending whatever indifference we had. I had no regrets having him as a father, I’m proud and I love him most.

SA MUNDO

NG

KAWALAN

Having a Thoughts

Well having a friendster account means you should have your own creative way of posting pictures. A different angle means you have a creative profile. It’s just a simple observation, so what I did was try it however I don’t have plans to post it on my account. A small photo shoot for the day, some were kept and I decided to post it.

Hearttrending

Feeling the mixed emotions right now, his look really kills me. Even if it’s a short phase I can feel that he is blaming me. What do I know about these stuffs anyway? Everything is new to me from the day one and I already told him about it. I’m still in the process of learning but I guess it has no room for mistake. Damn, I hate the feeling of being awful and alone. Needed a helping hand at this very moment but I guess I’m so single-handedly. I tried calling out my friends but it seems that they are all busy. Mischievous vent that can occurs, unfortunately that includes me. How many times will this happen? Is it once, twice or as long as I never learn? Then when will I learn?

BLAST FROM THE PAST

Finally after series of attempts looking with my old stuffs I finally had a chance a while ago. Oh my God! I’ve seen this notebook actually a compilation of the poems I made from my High School days until 2005. I remember making a poem 2 years ago but due to unfortunate events I have to destroy my planner together with the evidences, Ha! Ha! Ha! Most of the On the next days you’ll be reading post I made years ago and notice the evolution of my grammars and jargons. Enjoy and learn.

UNREQUITTED LOVE

Seeing the leaves fall

I suddenly recall

Things that makes me asking

If I deserve everything

Tell me how can I prevent

Shedding tears each moment

It's hard for me to forget

You render love without regret

Without you I'm feeling blue

Believe my words for it's true

Can I leave it all behind

If your always on my mind

Everytime we meet on the way

I don't know what to say

I never look into your eyes

And try to live with lies

I see your face on those sleepless night

Even if your out of my sight

I said to myself that your not for me

But my heart never listen or see

Everytime I hear our song

I ask myself what went wrong

I pray that you'll come back

Wish to the star and try my luck

Even were apart

Your name is still written in my heart

Your in my thoughts everyday

I love you is all I wanted to say

So here I am saying

Your still the one I'm missing

Eventhough you change everything

I love you more than anything

July 11, 1996

Darn, imagine no association in words. I did write that poem? Ha! Ha! Ha!

10 THINGS YOU"LL HATE ABOUT ME

Silence can extract all the excessive thought playing on my mind waiting to be liberated and it marks an emblem as a component of individualism. The rice soup or “lugaw” helps me to gathers information which has been a not so good part of me. Anyway I am what I am…

10 THINGS YOU’LL HATE ABOUT ME

1. Jealousy has been a part of my jargon ever since most especially when I’m attach to the person, though I don’t intend to express it seems to be outpouring.

2. Being busy means being sensitive to the people that interrupt to what I’m doing no matter what it is.

3. Incoherent statements irritates me, I can trust a person however when it comes to the things they say I remember every line so any inconsistent assertion lessen my confidence to them.

4. Losing frustrates me; it’s actually one of my greatest fears.

5. Being invincible when I have an intense emotion becomes my expertise. I’d rather walk away to oblivion rather than to be physical. Blabbermouth is not my cup of tea, when the famous “tiger look” appears and then I started to close my fist better back off or who knows what may happens.

6. I am a very emotional person that I become a crybaby, the higher my emotions is equivalents to shedding barrel of tears.

7. Everyone have their whims so do I, it seems that I never outgrown being a brat. Once a “little monster” always a monster no matter what the age is. There are times that if I ask something to a person I always anticipate that they would do it for me however when they didn’t I really feels bad, really bad…

8. Comparison is the nastiest thing a person can utter well it’s a declaration of war I guess. See the Geneva Convetion because it's a WWIII. Ha! Ha! Ha!

9. Pay attention to what I’m saying or else forget about it I’ll just do it myself but receive a cold treatment from me.

10. Bad publicity is still a publicity, all the unsolicited advices get into my nerves but I never react for the moment anyway “vehndetta” is like a dish best serve when it’s cold.

Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! I don’t consider myself bad it’s beyond its definition. Ha! Ha! Ha!

THE DAY I WENT BACK TO CAYSASAY

I am no stranger in Taal, Batangas, Ive been there at the age of 21 because someone brought me there to meet his parent. His family was very pleasant that I often visit them during the weekend. On my first visit he asked me to accompany me to their hometown’s Church of Our Lady of Caysasay. Just a little for your information, this church is one of the province’s distinct cultural artifacts for some of the priceless relics of the Spanish colonial period. Among the relics are the 27-centimeter image of the Virgin which was fished out of the waters in 1603, the Augustinian emblems engraved on the communion rails, the ornately carved holy water receptacle, and the few baroque motifs which remain on the external frieze. The church has been renovated but many interesting details of period art can still be appreciated. I had a chance to enjoy the solemnity of the place, then this guy disrupted and spiel his overly romantic lines with a promise that his going to marry me in this church and it will be filled with white roses. Actually I prayed to be back in the place with the one I should be with for the rest of my life, but the twist was it should be unplanned. Time passes by, our story ended I had my life so he did I heard his married to a teacher.

I was very sick mid of June then Jhun informed me that were going to Cuenca the next day for a business transaction, so we did. The trip was long, we went up to Mt. Makulot to see the land they bought after that we went to Ate Russel’s house. Unexpectedly on our way to Matabungcay the car stopped at Church of Our Lady of Caysasay. I never expected to back in that place because I won’t have any purpose but the twist of fate played its part. It’s still the same, the church was renovated but as far as I can remember nothing changes. The only thing that’s new is I’m with someone I know I want to be with if I go back to that place. When I entered on the church I remember what I prayed for, and whom I with that very moment. It’s quite unbelievable but it could happen. Now I know where my heart is, to its real home… with JHUN.

My Bad...... Sorry

The only thing I am guilty of is speaking too much; how come I cannot hold my tongue in order not to be embarrassed in front of the others. It seems that I need to renew my bonding with Don Corleone. It’s been a long time that I sit on the couch the whole day and watch the Godfather I, Godfather II and Godfather III. When I was young regardless of the violence on the films my father insisted me to watch the film and keep on reminding me the words of wisdom that the dear Godfather tells his protégé. I somehow forgotten it, but then experience can be the best teacher to remind me of the things I used to know and need to know. I remember this scenario that Sonny were told to shut up and never say what’s on his mind even the people in front them are their loyal vanguards and his father. Now I learned my lesson unfortunately after committing another mistake. As I used to tell my dad “Sorry I’m just a human being…. Not perfect! “Anyway I have my review again. And the next thing to be master….

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."
Don Corleone to Johnny Fontane about Woltz

FOR SAFETY

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman w ith a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is a grocery store parking lot.

5] Number two are office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three are public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like 'what time is it', or make general small talk like 'can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter'. Now that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell 'Stop!' or 'Stay back!' Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target. 3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling 'I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY!' and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly. 7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ...I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some time, when you will go "Hmm... I must remember that." After reading, forward it to someone you care about. Never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans: If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet and/or purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS!The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU LOCK YOUR DOORS...LEAVE!
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware. Look around you. Look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

For Civic Charlie

Finally I had made my first video! Since I'm a beginner please bear with me. Hope you'll enjoy watching!

Tranferring........

I am now transferring to a blog, probably this is a fresh start for me... Enjoy my journey, rollercoaster ride called life...