The most absurd things occur when it is least expected. A few minutes ago in a very enigmatic matter I would just simply say “shit happens”, worst it falls to me. How can I be so stupid? Forgetting that I’ll always be unguarded no matter how I try to deal with this knotty life. I thought it’s easier to deal with morons but the thing is they were given special skills because they knew how to play the game.
If you wonder what I feel right now, I would say that I felt embarrass to myself because I was rejected. Part of me feels annoyed that if I wouldn’t consider what my parent taught me I would definitely in a brawl. Damn! How can I let someone step on me, to think that he is nothing but a “moronic faggot”? Forgive me! I have nothing against the transsexual actually I have lots of friend who belong in the third sex. However when you encounter someone for the first time and annoys you, steps on you but then you felt like nobody stands behind your back. It really feels awful! Yes I’m hurt that I need to consider the things that other people would say even that I know in myself that I had no intentions at all. If I had my way I would just change myself the way people wanted me to be but I cannot. I was raised with the idea that as long as I never step on someone I could do whatever I wanted to do. But as I grow old I was involve in a very shallow society, who would judge you the way they see you. Anyway bad publicity is still publicity. I don’t give a damn to what would other people say even If hear even if it a smear campaign regarding myself because I am raised well and I knew that. So do you have any problem with me?
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